Friday, April 8, 2011

How to tell if you're a grown up

I was walking down the street a little while back, thinking about bills and when I'd get time to do the grocery shopping when it hit me: am I now a grown up? Aren't bills and grocery shopping the things that adults spend time contemplating? I turned to my usual source of information, and found the following ways to tell if you're a grown up. Give yourself a point per way, and see how many you end up with

1) you don't know modern lingo/you use it as a joke
with modern language changing so fast nowadays, it's easy to be left behind if you're not in the same circle as the 'youngins
Case in point, Phil from Modern Family: "I'm cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face."
The exception is Sheldon from The Bing Bang Theory, who matches all of the other grown up criterion: "I’m Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD, and ScD… OMG right?"

2) you live independent from your parents
this doesn't mean physically or financially independent, but that they don't have any real say over what you do. You get a point for this one if you don't have to tell them where you're going or who you're going with, just that you're going out and will be back late will suffice.
Case in point, Jimmy from Raising Hope. But then again, his parents aren't really grown ups either...
Exception: Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond. He may get a point in every other category, but he still listens to his mother on everything.

3) that music is up way too loud
if you've ever said this without a valid reasons, eg you're on a train or trying to study, then I'm afraid this gets a point.
Case in point, the Rafters from the first ep of Packed to the Rafters. Going next door in your night gown to turn off the music means that you're a grown up.

4) you have a bill in your name, and you are expected to pay it.
half points if it's a mobile/cell phone bill. three quarters for a credit card bill, full points for electricity/water/gas bill.
Case in point, Ashleigh from Greek. She got in a bit o' trouble when she realised she had to pay back her debit card bill, and fast.
Exceptions: any of the Leverage team, because I doubt they would have any bills in their real name. Same goes for the Winchester Brothers from Supernatural

5) you have cleaned a house
not just cleaned your room or shoved stuff under your bed, but actually used a mop or bucket or vacuum to clean more than just one room.
Case in point, Stephanie from No Ordinary Family. Though she can clean incredibly fast, she still cleans and therefore gets full points for this.

6) you go grocery shopping
not just milk at the corner store, but actual groceries from a supermarket. Bonus points if you have had to wait in line at the deli counter.
6.a) you found it exciting/awesome/nifty/epic/sweet as, brah when you find a special.
Case in point, Cam from Modern Family. He just goes crazy when he sees a bargain.

7) you realise your parents aren't all they're cracked up to be
some of us realise this sooner than others, but there comes a time in everyone's life when we find out that our parents aren't superheroes like we always thought they were.
Case in point, Frasier in Frasier. He realised this when he was quite young, and his father couldn't work out the tax on some dinner bill.

Well, I scored... Never you mind. I guess the point of this is, it doesn't matter what you score here, because it's how you feel on the inside. If you honestly feel like you wanna straighten up and fly right and get a serious 9-5 at a tax firm or something, then do it. If you wanna spend your time surfing off the coast of Oahu, then if you're not hurting anyone it's okay by me.

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